All I really want

All I really want is for him to say:

Yes.  I do have Borderline and Narcissistic personality disorder.

Yes.  As a result of that, I did often mistreat you verbally.

Yes.  I did project.

Yes.  I did not cope properly with small problems.

Yes.  I often created chaos within our marriage as a result of my inability to cope with things that I now know are normal, everyday problems.

Yes.  I did wrong to you and by you.

Yes.  I did ruin your life.

I take responsibility for all that.

And for that I am truly sorry.

But the narcissist never TAKES RESPONSIBILITY.

He wants forgiveness.  I will not forgive because he takes no responsibility.

He denies my reality and claims that I just have different memories than him.

That is true.  The narcissist never faces anything bad in themselves.