If I did to you

If I did to you what you did to me
If I spoke to you the way you spoke to me
If I deflected everything you said for simply not wanting to listen
NOT because of facts
Yes, Wael, I know you are "sick"
I know you have your own reality
I know you don't remember things correctly
But you were given so many chances.

If I told you to get the fuck away from me
If I didn't understand how you felt
If I only thought of myself in a marriage of two
If I falsely accused you of having affairs
If I told you that every word out of your mouth was a lie

If I obsessed over every little thing that happened to you at work
things that are normal to the rest of the world
If I couldn't cope with everyday life in the way you couldn't
even though I was supportive and understanding of your
different upbringing -
If I flat out refused the way you did

If I pushed you and pushed you
and watched you cry
and watched you break down more and more
everyday

If I did a fraction of what you did to me
to you
then you would hate me too.

I suffered because I loved you
I suffered because I believed you would come out on the other side
I suffered because I didn't know what you really had
I suffered because I took my vow and commitment to you seriously
I suffered because no one is perfect and no situation is perfect

You told me you would ruin my life
You saw that coming
I never did
Because I have a real heart and I love
You are empty and selfish and void

If I was you and you were me...
You would absolutely hate me.