That day you told me

That day you told me don't marry me I will ruin your life

I wish I had known then what I know now.

I would have told you to go to hell.

You let me love you and you took it from me for years

but never gave it back in the same way.

I always felt empty - invisible - 

I was always saying "i'm a person - i'm here - stop huritng me."

You KNEW you had a problem - a mental illness

I was willing to work with you on that

but you refused.

You destroyed me - the pressure building and building

until I exploded in the worst way but all you did was look

at my reactions to the abuse and the years of carrying that burden

and you walked away.

You could have made a different choice.

You didn't.

I hate you.

You took away my chances to share my life with someone.

You took away my chance to spend the after life with someone.

I hate you more than I once loved you.

You are a piece of shit.

You had a choice.

I did nothing to you to deserve the shit you put me through and the way you abandoned me.
You are going to repeat the same patterns over and over in your life.
Because you refuse to face yourself in a truthful way.
You had someone who was standing by your side through thick and thin.
Someone who was willing to face the difficult times with you and love you regardless of
how imperfect you were.
You THINK other people don't see it - well you are asking the wrong people.
Don't ask the people who have limited access to who you really are and
only see you in a limited social setting where you keep your mask on to keep
them fooled.
Yes, you do that.  You even said "I know HOW to MAKE people like me."
It's all a game to you.
Playing with people's lives and hearts and souls is NOT a game.
I hope you die alone because something like this only comes along once in a lifetime.
And you don't turn on people and abandon them because you don't want to face the truth.
You stay true to your word and your vow and your commitment.
You always chased after the pretty shiny things.
You always trusted the wrong people.
When you get there you realize your loss.
You don't realize it now, but you will one day.
And you will realize the high price you have to pay for your actions.